There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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