What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
