Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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