Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're like the curious george of whores
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
