No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
