Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
