I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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