Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
