oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
