Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
