he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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