Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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