I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
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He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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