i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
