We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
ttyl tear gas
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize