i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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