I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
