Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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