i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize