I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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