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• (786): View more from Florida

  Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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• (909): View more from California

  do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

  (760): View more from California

  and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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• (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

  Fav 33 1536 8966

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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• (469): View more from Texas

  That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.

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