I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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