So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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