Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.