dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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