it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
