i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
