went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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