So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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