the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
