i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize