Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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