Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
