the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
