Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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