i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
