??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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