i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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