This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
