First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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