Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
