Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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