eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
