Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
