He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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