hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
