I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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