Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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