the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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