dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
