im having a threesome with these popsicles
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
