dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
