i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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