I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
