But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
