So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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