According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
