Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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