i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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