My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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