Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Terrible idea I love it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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